Fall

leaves have to part from their branches... roots taut to prepare for the months worth of draft.


people have to shed attitudes... experiences will always guide journeys.

flatiron then and now

lighted darkness

which is overwhelming?

MoMA Dan Perjovschi

thought-provoking. spent half an hour looking up, laterally and down.

everything is around us.

working seven days...

IS DEFINITELY NOT ADVISABLE!

but i had to because i am the on-call therapist for this specific weekend.

its job security as well.

there must be something that can be done to make sure people get only 40 hours a week. that way they will have two days of rest and time for faith, family and hobbies.

not everyone is blessed though to have that.

still counting myself blessed for having a job despite the difficulty. then again, its a very very difficult world.

a day in a life...strawberry fields NYC

WORDS culled from John Lennon-produced songs from 1970-1980.

VTECH

violent legacy...school and guns
implosion becomes explosion from campus to the whole world
a muted anger in life that screamed from the grave...innocent voices snuffed out never to be heard
the war that was mainly fought inside for years was lost in a battle outside in hours
hearts broken, souls sheared, smiles erased and doubts are born
point out the fingers back to yourselves...an anomaly that cost dearly
what comes from the mouth come straight from the heart... and was broadcast in a video...what was on a mind was painted on an image...what was felt was printed on paper...what was thought came into fruition
it was shipped.
light a candle, say a prayer, hope for the best... expect the worst

ESCAPE IS NEVER THE SAFEST PLACE... (”Dissident” Pearl Jam)

let's talk about the iranians for a while...

yeah... enough of gripes for a while...

pretty serious of Iran to seize UK marines doing a UN-mandated process.

now we're still lucky... for sure, shots would have been fired if it were Americans!

would have been code red around the world; stockmarkets first and foremost, considering the adjacent area as a chief source of oil for more than half of the world and how an incident can impact everyone in the civilized world (think of it as "Babel" times 1 million).

i think Iran is collecting leverage to contest the flak it is getting for its nuke program... and conflict really is not too far.

time to take a knee folks and hope this does not blow up.

HITS

i will keep taking them...

the usual... a tall cup of misery with a shot of "espressoed" disappointment topped with whipped dreams.

a scratch on the new car, bungled professional plans, relocation, bills, family matters, challenges of Faith, differing opinions between friends and the everyday realization of an uncertain tomorrow.

nope, not a recipe for a new concoction.

my shield can't hold off all attacks at once... i sure could use reinforcement.

unfortunately, the battle i am fighting is not part of a country's, creed's or culture's campaign against an evil empire.

the battle i am in i have to fight on my own. the enemy can also be myself.

i take it in.. i give it out. such is the cycle of life.

i am liable to make mistakes as i am sure to encounter situations out of my control.

but i am also capable of reaching an objective or overcoming a hurdle...

not necessarily on my own.


"at the ends of the earth... I cried out to Thee... LEAD ME TO THE ROCK THAT IS HIGHER THAN I."

an untitled almost 10 years old heart rumbling

i knew i miss you today...coz the sun ain't that bright, with the clouds that robbed away its light.
i knew i miss you today...its just so hard when you're not part of it all, in your presence i reached great heights, with your absence i take a great fall.
i knew i miss you today...the candy is not as sweet, as your laughter fills me inside and the sight of your face makes the rest of the day a treat.

i know i will miss you tomorrow... and for that i am in pain and sorrow. i wish i could change things in my favor, but it won't be something that both of us can savor.

i know... that i could never have you... your heart belongs to another. and i don't want to be a bother. your smiles are a product of someone else's wit. i think i won't make a perfect fit. but i would like to thank you for your attention, i have been honored and privileged by it. i would like you to know that i really love you...but my humble sparks are not enough for a fire in your heart to be lit.

hate it...

• when things are in place and finally in order... something happens to mess it up and everybody has to start from scratch!
• when plans have been made and a decision gets to be announced abruptly... back to the drawing board.
• when one is at the point of finally letting every ounce of energy, wisdom, and skill be released into a chosen endeavor...short circuit!
• when the present circumstances are aligned in your favor... then someone changes his/her mind and the odds are now stacked against you.
• when life decides to select you as a potty chair for the moment... and you have to accommodate every $&*# that comes in.
• when my time on the throne is done and i have to get in line again.
  

really hate it, man.

...spring...

spring...

wish for it now...

so summer will be next...

i could drive my car out more somehow...

if i stay in more i will be perplexed...

so i could wear my rain gear...

as the sky sheds its tear...

untitled Friendster profile post

Sadness envelops me like a heated blanket in winter.
I lost the thirst for life, now I hunger for sorrow.
I yearn for the innocence I lost because of broken trust and false promises.
I pray for peace that cannot be found in this world... A peace that I know I can't have yet because it's not the time.
I try my best to wake my battered mind and body, to withstand the might of life's realities...as I walked the path of life unsure now where I would end up.
I pray my prayers... the only important thing I have left that no one can take away.
they took away my pride, my respect, the smile off my face, the initiative in my character, the fire of my youth...even my heart.
I will try to hang on to life... and leave everything to HIM.

not so Mighty Shield

"when Captain America throws his Mighty Shield... all those who chose to oppose his shield must yield..." - Marvel Superheroes Cartoon Captain America jingle.

out of nowhere... a death in the SuperHero world. unannounced even to close Marvel comic staff. marketed by media. met with consumerist glee. quick!, to the comic book store/nearest newsstand (now I have to drive 10 miles to the next town to buy 2 copies), hurry now!

a makeover of Uncle Sam in case he gets the steroid shots and wardrobe change; fighting through World War II, MIA at war's end, resurrected for the Cold War, got replaced by a nobody wearing almost the same costume, fought many battles alongside Superhero allies be it Earth or somewhere in the galaxy, erstwhile leader of the mighty Avengers, led an unsuccessful rebellion against the SuperHero registration act in the current Marvel Universe.

in a scene recalling some famous presidential assasinations, Cap got felled by more than one bullet from more than one sniper (as story development goes) making a recent rebel a guaranteed American martyr. expect sales to go up and the buzz to continue as weeks fly by in the comic book world.

like everybody's observation, the death must be made in order to prop up sales for the struggling comic line. in the advent of technology and its minions (video, imagery, internet, etc.) less and less attention are being paid to comic books. remember Superman? well after he died, some 6 dudes replaced him before he came up to rise from his grave, got a new costume, broke up with Lois and years later got a movie which unfortunately earned yawns from skeptics like me who still like the great C.R.'s efforts to fly up, up and away in the age of low tech cinema.

what now for Cap? in the comic book world, resurrection is a permanent thing. but now i personally think they might choose to take time before reviving Captain America. i sincerely hope though that they better not wait for another 9/11 or world war before having him in the print again. it will be sincerely in bad taste. Cash should not be made out of conflicts.

take a break Cap... can't wait to see you again. thank God i am 30, i sincerely would have been depressed if i was still 12.

sarcophagi Jesua

a producer "proudly" announced his latest work... the documentation of the recovery of Jesus' body as well as those of His mother, supposed wife and child.

He also proclaimed that the discovery would certainly shake the foundation of Christiandom to "Titanic" proportions.

do not be surprised if it will be met with ridicule, contempt and deep sensitivity.


atheists would certainly welcome this development and further add to State - Faith tension here in the US.


Christians currently in dilemma with their faith might take this as a sign of failure.

Churches, denominations will probably issue their respective statements over the coming weeks.


I am a believer... no matter what happens, I will "cleave to that which is good" and "abhor evil."
If the time comes that I must make a choice... I will definitely make a stand.


In the end, it will be between me and God... no discovery or archaeological breakthough can shake that.

this child is sad...

this child is sad... he is moving out of the neighborhood. he wished he could stay there forever.

he understands the reason but questions the time. why does it have to be now? when everything is working out the way it should be.

he will be away...

from his four favorite streets... where playmates abound. he will now wander off to corners unknown, where strangers overflow.

from his friends... who made it easier for him to handle problems, questions and most of all shared a laugh with him for all those moments of regret, fears and hesitation.


they share the same feeling... they wished he wouldn't go. they are asking him to stay.

makes it more harder for the child.

he wishes he could stay behind.

but it is not up to him.

he will cry on the last day. it is unbearable for him to leave the place where everybody is glad to have him. where everybody is ready to share their shoulder, lend their hand, give an ear.

he will miss the smiles.






another chapter ends... another one commences.

coming Britney... going Britney

c'mon Britney... coming or going???

too lazy to take on the responsibility of motherhood? the lure of partying, booze, etc. too hard to avoid?

gal... you got talent... you sold millions of records... that would account for something in your life ok?

you got two wonderful kids... you got family that supports you... i assume that you still have the care of true friends.


don't take the road well traveled by popular people like you...


O B L I V I O N

JUST A THOUGHT.

HHWWSS

hey... I got your back (even though you don't give a heck about me).

hello... I am really friendly (and i am not doing the things i do just to catch your attention).

well... i know your heart's reserved for another

(and you openly express it).

wooh... why is it then what i feel for you is so strong? (and i get hurt so bad inside).

so... i will try my best to steer clear

(remain content with just the sight of you).

say... nothing (the sacrifice of love to sustain friendship).

a year ago today....

Originally posted on Tuesday, February 13, 2007 @ Myspace


a year ago today...


Current mood: pensive
Category: Blogging


i was reviewing hand written notes for the exam that would help shape my present and possibly my future.



thank God I passed that exam.



i was in the tropics; enjoying rain, sun, surf and sand (a little bit). one of unforgettable circumstances that i was out of my native country (for a purpose).





i still can recall every single thing i did while i was there (too many to enumerate okay?).





i was worried sick about what may happen if i fail the said exam; considering my other options, weighing professional choices, anticipating the opportunities that passing the exam would bring.





i am reaping some of it, though there are still some that i am waiting for to ripen and bear fruit.





deep in thought how a long stay away from everything i love, grew up with would feel like.





now i know the answer.





tomorrow it will be Valentines Day.





No, this is not a blog about Love.





Because for me, Feb. 14, 2006 was just an extraordinary day for an individual who wants to make a mark professionally in another country.



His prayers were answered and his efforts were rewarded that day.







By the way, he is still very thankful.

astro Love

an intense love triangle? OUT OF THIS WORLD really.

love and emotions.. everybody is equal; emperor or pauper, knight or page, president or a foot soldier, groom or usher, Jedi or Sith (okay, that's it... i will stop).

a decorated military officer, qualified for space flight and exploration, excellence in the sciences and mathematics, good education and an able member of American society... thrust in the limelight of degradation and shame, now putting into question her function as a scientist in her own right and merits based on what she has in her heart and head for the present time.

hey, what did she do? she only admitted to planning to abduct, batter and possibly eliminate a fellow astronaut, a rival to another astronaut's affection. sheesh.

very, very sad... and it's almost Valentines day. forget the "get out of jail" pass for now. because of "love" it had to come to this situation now headlined across America. and she's a mother of 3 kids.

this is not a post to bring the lady down. this is a simple reminder of what our feelings can do to us and to those close to us. like space, the boundaries of love and emotions are not clearly illustrated. directly and indirectly, it always comes down to CONTROL (the things we do to make situations in our favor in order to address our desires, wants and needs), unfortunately this time not "mission control."

definitely, Houston; we have a problem. (pardon the pun).

headbutt Chewie and the colorful characters of Hollywood

recent headlines show Chewbacca's street persona headbutting a tour guide... fun.

downside is, the tour guide i think was only trying to make sure his tourist clients (Japanese, based on reports) won't feel harassed if Chewie "insists" on having a Kodak moment with them.

i have had the same experience with that character, Chucky and Jason. No, he didn't headbutt me, with Chucky and Jason taking their turns discarding my flesh on the pavement. Spiderman was kind enough not to ask for money as I took a "rolling shot" of him as our vehicle was cruising before we found a decent parking space. The thing is, gone were the days that you could give them whatever change you have in your pocket; and if the Kodak moment was enjoyable, up to 20 dollars max. After me, my niece and nephew had that shot with them, Chewie was actually insisting 18 dollars for that one shot because there were three of us with them. It would be great if they're paying the government taxes. Are they???

i think its best if the local government of the city of angels do their best to "regulate" these characters. let's face it, they're part of the tourist scene now. but with their brash attitudes along with the presence of hookers and hobos on that stretch of road it will only serve to further decrease tourist flow on the area, contributing more to the revenues lost from the tourism industry by the country as a whole since 9/11 brought about by immigration/tourist visa restriction and airport security checks.

now, if only someone captured the scene on film and posted in on YouTube this blog would be complete...

Hello Corp...



Current mood: pissed off


i would like to reiterate that i am a human being that breaks down and anatomically can't be replaced with filters, oil or parts.

....all i need is good food, rest and time for doing the things i like.


i would like to emphasize that i am doing my best at work but i have my personal things to attend to.

....my life is not at all work.


why is it i have to shoulder the burden of those calling off? but when its necessary and unavoidable for me to call off i get to be the bad guy?

....if nothing changes, i will definitely make a loud bang.

originally posted on Myspace...

Thursday, July 01, 2004

alone


ALONE... in a secluded confine, out of contact with a person or social unit. NOT necessarily LONELY. Time to reflect, time to bend on one knee and say thanks to an Almighty for surviving a grueling day at work, pressure, questions, frustrations. ALONE can also mean having time more than one bargained for in order to do personal stuff like hygiene, try out new additions to one's clothes racks or put on old ones, check for zits and lines, call someone, etc.

That's my current state right now... ALONE. Not necessarily LONELY. Later I'll be meeting up with a pal and the spell will be broken. Come midnight as the city sleeps I'll be back in this weird, sometimes comfortable, sometimes depressing state. But that's how everything is if one puts it in a perspective.. does a baby always come out of its mother with a companion? one in a thousand maybe or so BUT NOT ALWAYS. Does one get buried in his or her coffin with another? NOT! We all go through this state, even if for a moment, a tenth of a second, etc.

So before you smirk at me and say "poor guy" ... LOOK WHO'S TALKING??? who's the one alone in an internet cafe or in the comfort of their own pc unit/laptop at home or work reading this post. HEHEHE, judge not so as not to be judged. and i'll be sleeping...